My Journey · Uncategorized · Writing

Growing Pains

Frightening how fast time goes. 4 months ago I was walking into my first day of class and now I’m preparing myself for finals. It feels like yesterday. Seriously.

This semester I learned so. freaking. much.

and not necessarily all Nursing related.

I think this program or this field matures you and makes you grow as a person. If you allow it. If you take it seriously.

The other day I really found myself wanting to show somebody an ugly side of me. A mean, stern, angry side of Felicia that only comes out when somebody has done some major damage to my trust. I would have. Thankfully this person avoided me at all costs. Because I’m sure they are just as aware of their betrayal. And I’m thankful for that. Because I would have seriously regretted it. As much as I wanted to tell this person exactly how I felt and how wrong they were, I realized something that outweighed that. The feeling of something bigger. Something more important.

In 2017 I will graduate from this program and I will sit for my state boards and (God-willing) I’m going to have my license. My license that says I am capable of caring for another person. I am capable of managing a patients care and health. A license that says I vow to be MY PATIENT’S ADVOCATE. We are currently learning to become so much more than what we are now.

I imagined my situation like this,

This person is my patient. I gave them all the EDUCATED and HONEST teachings I possibly could. I directed them towards a healthy outcome. But, one thing I’ve learned is sometimes the patient doesn’t do what you think is best. They will choose to do what they want. They will nod their head and agree to every intervention and not do any of them. And that’s fine. They can. It’s their right. I have no issue with that, aside from the fact they won’t get any better and possibly get worse. But, I did what I was suppose to do. I was their Nurse. I was their advocate. In this case, I was their friend, and I was looking out for them.

However in the case of it being a friend, they violated my trust. I learned no matter how good a friend you try to be for somebody, they don’t always appreciate it and stabbing you in the back is an easy thing for them to do. But at the end of the day, they lost a good friend and you eliminated a bad one.

Nursing/ Nursing School has taught me the true definition of “choosing your battles” I’ve seen people in excruciating pain, I’ve seen people suffer, I’ve seen people find out they have months to live. I’ve seen true battles, battles that far outweigh the severity of the battle this person created. My goal is to not make this girl feel bad for what she did. But rather be the best advocate I can possibly be for anybody that needs my help. Whether they take my advice or not.

Keeping your mouth shut and moving on is sometimes the best choice. There are plenty of people in this world who make great friends and Im happy to say I do have a few of them and an amazing family that always supports me. I find myself lucky.

There are no hard feelings. I want her to do well, I want her to succeed. I’ll pray for her to do so.

ON A POSITIVE NOTE!

My Christmas shopping is D-O-N-E! My hot cocoa is stocked and ready to go. My Christmas movies are playing on repeat on the TV. Christmas, after  finals week, I AM COMING FOR YOU. After my several, s-e-v-e-r-a-l naps. Obviously.

Thanks for reading!
Sincerley,
Feli

 

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